


Bad Dreams

by ObstinaReed



Series: Wessa Honeymoon Stories [3]
Category: Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M, Wessa honeymoon stories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-10
Updated: 2013-08-10
Packaged: 2017-12-23 00:59:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/920114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObstinaReed/pseuds/ObstinaReed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Era:: Victorian.<br/>Characters:: William Herondale and Theresa Gray, James Carstairs and Cecily Herondale, Magnus Bane -- belong to The Infernal Devices series by Cassandra Clare; Ernest the DuckDuke belongs to me.<br/>Author:: Ms. Reed.<br/>Summary:: After everything William Herondale had done for the Clave and Silent Brothers, a long relief from his Shadowhunter-duties was the least they could do to thank him. Such freedom enabled him and his newly wedded wife Theresa Gray to travel the world for three months and enjoy their honeymoon to the fullest.<br/>If only the ducks weren't following them everywhere.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> {This one is a bit different since written in first person and probably not exactly Victorian in wording.}

**I wake up with a start and a scream stuck in my throat,** breathing heavily and blinking tears away from my eyes. My neck is sore from sleeping in an awkward position and I cannot feel my right arm, but those are not the things that worry me at the moment. I'm a little dizzy, and still not quite sure where I am, so I just stare into the darkness surrounding me, shaking with a sudden cold. At last, I let out a strangled cry.

And then there's a warm hand on my back, stroking me gently, calming me; and a whisper in my ear: "Shhh, it was only a dream. Nothing but a bad dream. You're fine now, Tess. I'm here."

My shaking subsides. _Nothing but a dream_ , I think, and then--remembering how close it came to being reality--I shiver.

Will's hands wrap around me and he holds me tightly to him. His body is warm, the T-shirt he's wearing instead of pyjamas clings to hard muscles hidden underneath, and he smells of sandalwood and sleep. I feel safe in his embrace. That is my safest and happiest place in the world. But I cannot stop summoning the images from the dream I have scarcely escaped. They keep flashing in front of my eyes even while my eyes are shut and buried along with my head in Will's neck and chest.

Jem. Dead. Rivers of blood everywhere. Clanging of metal. Will shouting. Running toward me. A scream. My scream. My hands pulling my hair and then my nails digging in my cheeks until they bleed, and the blood mixes with my tears, and I fall down on my knees beside Jem.

Jem, who lies so still. His silver hair spread around his head like a pillow. I shake him and scream his name again, but he doesn't move. Will catches up to me and sees. He must have felt it before, through the bond he shares with his parabatai, but he refused to believe. Now he has to. He falls on his knees beside me, dropping his blade, and there is a loud _clang_ as it hits the stone floor.

Time stops. We are like two statues on these red stones--staring at the body in front of us we are motionless, blind to everything else that might be happening around us, deaf to each other and deaf to the world. Staring at our friend. Staring at what is left of the person we love so much. Only this silent body. Aside from being smeared with red in different places, Jem looks exactly like himself... and he doesn't, at the same time. His beautiful eyes are closed, but I know they are silver behind the lids.

Will is saying something, but I don't hear him. I am still out of this world, clutching Jem's hand unable to let go, reluctant to understand, refusing to conform. Will shakes my shoulders and begins to yell. _Why is he yelling at me?_ Somehow, his words break through my walls, and questions-- "What happened?! What happened to him, Tessa?! What happened?" ring in my ears as I look through Will and then, finally, at him. His eyes are violent dark blue, almost violet, and tears turn them into oceans. His black hair is messed up from fighting. I can hear desperation in his voice; his expression is incredulous, but quickly turns to one of utmost pain.

After, I am numb. I don't even know how we got out of there alive. Did we? I don't feel alive. They gave me something to drink. It is warm and tastes sweet. My cup is silver. Like his hair.

Couple of days pass and I don't feel any better. They said I would, but I don't. I haven't seen Will since... They tell me we should give each other some time. But I don't want to see him. If I see him, I'm afraid I will break. I will burst into million little pieces and no one will ever be able to put me together again. Jem's funeral is this afternoon, so I guess I will have to see Will. I don't want to go. If I go, all of this will become real. _But this IS real, and there's nothing you can do to change it_ , a tiny voice in my head says, and I am crying.

I love Will and the guilt kills me. It strikes me like a knife every time I see him. I was going to marry Jem. My lovely, kind, wonderful Jem! My Jem was lying on cold stones, his blood spilling in streams from him and into the earth through cracks. I shudder. He wanted to marry me so much, was so happy when I accepted his proposal, and now... he will want nothing anymore. I loved him. Then how can I still want things when he cannot? How can I want Will? Lastly, how can I do this to Jem? I cannot. I will not. And Will feels the same. I can see it in his eyes. Today we say goodbye and go our separate ways. I am going back to America. Magnus has arranged a room for me in his new lodgings in New York. He will teach me what I need to know to become his assistant. He says that in time it will get easier. "You will never forget, but it will get easier, believe me, I know," were his words.

Too soon, Will is hugging me. He lets go too quickly and I feel my heart tightening in my chest. "Goodbye, Tess," he says and I nod, unable to utter a single word. I examine his face, trying to absorb the light of it, storing every tiny line and curve safely in my memory for keeping. The shape of his mouth. Flicker of his long eyelashes. Deep blue of his eyes. A single, shiny tear on his cheek...

I gasp and wake up. I must have fallen asleep again in Will's arms. _It's not real_ , I say to myself. Relief floods me. My head is sweaty and my hair sticks to Will's neck. He is sleeping. His heartbeats are rhythmic and strong, unlike my crazy and fast ones. I get up, careful not to disturb him, and stand close to the window, staring at the purple sky and wishing I could talk to Jem today. I shall write him a letter after breakfast.

Few minutes pass before Will stirs, realizes I'm not in bed and calls to me, blinking in the weak sunlight: "Tess? Are you all right?"

"Yes," I answer walking back to bed, and tuck myself comfortably in next to him. He kisses my forehead and smiles and I do the same, turning and propping myself on one elbow to kiss him lightly on the lips. Will kisses me back, and pulls me closer while our kisses grow deeper; and we are lost in each other as sunbeams peek shyly through the curtains into our room, bringing the dawn with them and announcing the beginning of a brand new April day.


End file.
